The Ardaxian Report of People You Shouldn't F With
by garpslittlebro
Summary: A correspondence between a guild leader, and an old friend asking how dangerous different groups are and to what degree. The responses are the Ardaxian report. A coarse, unbiased take on the different factions of the world and the dangerous people they employ. All with commentary by the wonderfully brusque and self-confident, Ardaxian Greaves.
1. Chapter 1

**AN**

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_This is a bit of a combination love letter to __LogicalPremise who writes the wonderful OSaBC stuff and specifically a side story titled The Ahern Report_ _which is 100% the inspiration for this. It also serves as a bit of worldbuilding to a DD campaign I'm running that has so much stuff in the world, I feel it'd be a shame if some of the stuff that populates it never exists anywhere except in my mind. __So here it is._

_The Ardaxian guide of things you shouldn't f* with_

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**To my good friend Ardaxian.**

**With war about to be declared a lot of my lads might get dragged into this mess. And we're all a lot more familiar with monsters and beasts than we are with people. Most of my lads couldn't tell you the difference between a Blade-Captain and a Legionnaire. I'd like to ask you to help highlight the differences between terminology, and generally how dangerous someone is so I can keep my boys and girls from running headfirst into a foe that will swat them down without blinking. Given your experience, and more importantly, lack of bias. I figured it'd be prudent to ask you so I don't get an opinion skewed to make one side 'look' stronger. I just want something concrete to rely on. Not some propaganda saying how weak our foes are.**

**Sincerely**

**Basset Monteral**

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BASSIE!

It has been far too long. Are you still hanging around that awful collection of docks you call a city? Never did understand why anyone would want to live full time on the water. Smells funny, and I rather like being able to stretch my legs without having to deal with pushing people into the water or off a bridge when they don't recognize I'm in a bad mood. And you've moved up in the world it seems, no longer dumping muck out of your boots and now you get to sit comfy behind your big desk in the guild hall with a warm fire and plenty of hot food and hotter company. You still working closely with that red-headed broad? Let her know if she wants a real man to take care of her, to just come my way. I might be one of the few men around who could give her a proper spar. Anyways, you want your boys to know about what they're up against? Well most people would assume that the Pirates aren't organized and all more or less the same. Those people are very quickly going to end up very dead. As a way of giving a kind of scale I'm going to be using something I'm going to call the Ardaxian Scale. 1 Ardaxian is equal to 1 of me. And seeing as I am the baddest MoFo in the corps, its safe to say that anyone worth 1 of me is going to rip your guys to shreds if they go in unprepared. Anyone worth multiple of me falls squarely on the Do Not F* With list. If you don't like this system. Tough. I'm sure you'll be able to translate it into something your guys can understand. But this is my list, so my system.

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Pirate Crew

Basically anyone and everyone that serve more as galley rats than trained fighters, now every single one of these guys knows how to fight, and every single one is armed, but all in all they aren't soldiers or warriors. Just guys the pirates give a sword and point towards whatever they want dead. They usually rely on sheer numbers and attack in droves. I'd call a crew of 50 of these guys about _.1 Ardaxians._ Not a huge threat, but then again, if you're fighting them, it means you've already gotten through most of the main threat anyways, and they might pull some nasty tricks. So just don't let them catch you with your pants down, treat em seriously and you'll cut them down in droves.

CutThroat

These are the shock troops that you'll see most often. Most are armed with short range easy-to-draw stuff. Scimitars, daggers, handaxes and the like. On land these guys actually aren't that much to talk about, keep firm rank, out range them with shields and polearms, and you'll chew through these guys with ease. Unfortunately that isn't how these guys operate. If you see these guys it's either in the streets of a burning town, or on board a ship. And spears aren't nearly as effective in such close quarters, shields are great, especially since these guys are so fire happy. And I mean these guys are complete and totally crazy about fire. Every single one of them downs a concoction that makes them more resistant to the heat and they cover themselves in a gel that ramps it up even more. They will come at you, screaming and on fire flinging molotovs and swinging burning swords with no regard for personal safety. It's worked pretty well so far on untrained civilians who break and run. Cover your shield in some lacquer or flame-retardant dust and these guys will try to set it on fire. If you keep calm and work in groups, a good archer can shoot from behind anyone holding the line. Shield and sword up front with good discipline and someone competent enough not to hit the guy standing in front of them, and two people can take out dozens of Cutthroats. Just don't panic and you'll realize inside that screaming pillar of fire, is just a barely trained man in cheap leather armor so dry it'll crack under a strong blow.

Scarier in groups, like to sow panic, I'd say a crew of 50 of these guys is probably _.2 Ardaxians_.

Berzerkers

Now we move on from the crazies, to the nutjobs. These are the guys who are at the front of the charge. The veterans of dozens of raids, and fueled by the greed of first comes first served. A lot like cutthroats in a lot of ways, but more experienced, and willing to retreat instead of running d* first into death. The thing that makes these guys real scary, is their ability to shrug off damage. These guys diet on some weird fish they gather somewhere out wherever these guys gather and live. Whatever it is, it turns a normal dude into a six and a half foot wall of muscle that can suplex a bear. I once lodged a pike through one of these a*h* and he just pushed his way down the shaft to try and strangle me. Got a knife in the eye for it and went down after that, but they can ignore pain that would put other people out of action. I've killed more of these guys than I can count and they normally travel individually, but if you let one of them catch you off guard they can tear through a man like he's made out of cardboard. I'd say one Berzerker is _.1 Ardaxians_. Tough sons of witches and I'd recommend just using any sort of longreaching polearm to keep them at bay. Billhooks, pikes, man-catchers, whatever you've got on hand. Treat them like a charging boar, let them kill themselves on a pointy stick and make sure you keep leverage on them so they don't rip you a new one. Decapitate them just to be sure they're really dead.

Acolyte.

These are the guys most people are going to get caught off guard by. Dressed more or less the same as a cutthroat but usually not on fire. These are the reason behind the fire, in Fire Pirate. Potions, alchemist fire, greek fire, dragon fire, these guys have a fire for every occasion. Now the common misconception is that if you prepare in advance, simple fire resistance potion from your local alchemist and you're good right? Wrong. Dead wrong. The first thing these guys will throw at you FREEZES a potion of fire resistance. And if you drunk one, it'll ice up your lungs till you're coughing up blood and snowballs. Or they'll just throw acid at you. They like to throw nasty things is the point I'm getting at. Pain in the a* to get close to, usually better to just shoot them from range behind decent cover. They need both hands to mix and throw all of their s* so if you've got a decent shot, you can take them down before getting close enough for them to f* with you.

_.2 Ardaxians_. These guys are real versatile and that's what makes them so dangerous, they've got a lot of options to choose from in a fight and usually are clever enough to come up with something painful. I once caught one of these guys by dropping a barrel of hard tack on him. Crushed all his vials and s* at once. The explosion he made took the entire ship down with him.

\

Disciples

Alright this is probably the most diverse category but every ship has at least one Disciple. These are the proper spellcasters among the pirates. The guys who might be able to take out an entire group of steelborn with some words and some hand-waving. These guys vary pretty heavily in strength and bulls*tery. Most of them I think of as a ballistae. Got a lot of firepower that can be aimed, expensive to maintain and usually don't do so well after taking a little bit of damage. Usually accompanied by a small group just to keep it safe. Best bet for dealing with these guys is to hit them where they aren't looking. Hard to concentrate on summoning a firestorm when the floor suddenly drops out from under you or it starts raining shots from your blind spot. Teamwork makes the dream work on these guys, sustained pressure from multiple angles and eventually they'll crack. Especially if you can get a big piece of steel swinging around their face. If you're ever stuck solo, fight dirty, most of what they need relies on line of sight, smoke bombs, heavy use of cover, and a willingness to be aggressive. Or be unconventional. I once lured one belowdecks and knocked a wall full of carpentry supplies onto the idiot. Got so torn up didn't even see me sneak up behind him. After that I left him painted across the walls. _.4 to .9 Ardaxians. _The best of these guys can smite a battleship from trebuchet range and others cap out at a handful of dangerous party tricks. Most fall somewhere in between.

Captains:

Allright now we're getting into the scary territory. You know who's capable of leading a bunch of criminals and hopped up backstabbing bastiches? The people strong enough, or scary enough to keep them in line. These guys range a lot in style, and you can usually tell what kind of person they are based on how the rest of the crew fights. If they're a big bruiser type, then chances are the rest of the crew follows by example. Crack shot with a rifle and you might see more sharpshooters among the crew. All of these guys carry firearms, nasty pieces of work that usually take a while to reload but can make a pretty messy hole and can punch through poorly made plate. On top of that these guys tend to be wearing the best gear on the ship and usually carry one or two magical trinkets or baubles to give themselves some sort of edge. There's a thing with pirates where the more important you are the bigger your hat is. So if you see someone who isn't on fire staring down a whole bunch of nastiness with confidence and a real big hat? Probably a Captain. These guys fight and earn their way to these spots so they can be brutal in melee, they won't fall for most underhanded tricks because they have to put up with them all the time. All in all, I'd say most of them come in at around _.8 Ardaxians_. I've killed six of these guys myself and every fight they pulled out something that surprised me and almost got me killed. Flush them out with gas or tanglefoot bags, use heavy firepower where you can and if you get into melee, always expect some hidden blades or guns or boot-knives. Usually all of the above.

Commodores

These are the big hats. Most of them are women and most of them can roast you alive from range and all of them can single-handedly take down an entire warship solo. It's part of the hazing process apparently. These are the ones who have real experience, and real firepower. Dozens of ships at their command all decked out with proper equipment and of course they keep the really fun toys for themselves. All of them have some seriously heavily enchanted gear making them real slippery to hit and even harder to pin down. Most of them carry a multitude of elementally enchanted weapons to keep themselves with an edge. And most stray away from the fire theme at this point. Sure they can still set a building on fire with their mind, but now they'll mix it up by freezing it, or melting it, or vanishing it to another plane of existence or something. Keep in mind that the Steelborn have only ever killed 2 commodores, and I have it on good authority that it took Jake the MotherF*ing Ravager to kill the second. And the first managed to take out the majority of a fleet before she went down and it took 3 days of her fighting FROM THE WATER, before she eventually caved to exhaustion and sheer numbers. Let me repeat that, she was taking on battleships, while fighting from little more than a floating barrel, and we still almost lost. Commodores are no joke. Easily _2 Ardaxians_. Gods can you imagine how glorious and devastating I could be if there were 2 of me?

DNFW

Alright so if there's one thing I know it's that every group has some people that you just do not mess with. The ones who can tear apart metal with their bare hands, or stare down a dragon and make it their b*h. These people are all firmly on MY dnfw list, so you best believe your boys had better know about them.

High Admirals

We don't know a ton about the High Admirals, all four that we know about are women and all of them have f*ed up our navy every time they're seen. We don't know their names all we know is that there are 4 of them, and one of them once took on a battleship solo. She walked on board, challenged the entire ship to 'Come at me' and put her sword away after she'd gotten through half of the crew saying 'it'd be more fun that way'. Now I'm not saying I'm in love, but if a woman did that and I was told to go fight her I might just take her out for dinner instead. These women are insanely dangerous. Most of them have bounties worth a position as nobility and enough money to retire absurdly wealthy for a couple generations. So far the only time we've ever seen one of them really even try was at Savanaport, that fiasco where a bunch of merchants threw together enough cash to hire out a dozen destroyers and a battleship to escort them to Nymeria. Yeah, that was a High Admiral who caused that disaster. Who saw a sizable portion of our fleet, including an admiral of our own, and proceeded to rape the ever-loving s* out of them. _7 Ardaxians_ and next time we'll need to bring something a lot bigger in case they throw more than 1 sea-dragon at us, did I mention the sea-dragon at Savanaport? B*h told it tear our ships apart and it did. Like a trained hound of thousand tons of armored plates and teeth.

Queen Amber

The lady herself, the head of the great big fiery thorn in the side of everyone who just wants some beachfront property. She'll participate in raids every year or so. You can recognize the damage as hers by the concentration of it. Reports say she has some sort of focused beam of heat, like a red dragon's breath only even more focused and significantly more ranged. I remember hearing tales from a few decades ago when the fire pirates were only a threat across Lake Carrasco. How they laid siege to a city and she cut through buildings like a knife through melting butter, without ever even bringing her ship past the blockade. All this without hitting her own guys who were on the docks of the city. That was almost 30 years ago now, I'd hate to see what she can do now. All we know is she's a powerful sorcerer. She's got a raging hard-on for anything fire related, and that all the other selfish, self serving b*s that make up the rest of the fire pirates, all answer to her authority. Let's call her _10 Ardaxians_ and if one of your guys runs into her? It better be at the tip of the spear of a lot of very dangerous people, or they'll probably just get swatted like a gnat.

Ladd

This guy deserves mentioning just because of how dangerous he is. Now, when I say dangerous, keep in mind that in the context of a bunch of pyromaniac rape-happy bloodthirsty cutthroat killers, the captains who leave sole survivors and cut down hundreds of others for kicks, and the fire b*h queen herself I'm calling this guy dangerous. Ladd is dwarven male all done up in a white tuxedo who will happily dive face first into a phalanx of our finest and come running out the other side covered in blood and his only complaint is that he'll have to torture a new tailor to fit him a new suit. He's the guy that acts as the personal enforcer of a bunch of backstabbing pirates, and their fear of him helps keep all those harda*es in line. Fortunately we know a bit more about this guy than most since he's so happy to be on the battlefield. Prefers knifework and close-quarters, fists when he needs to but what makes him really stand out is his brutality. I got reports of him having a broken arm and he ripped out his own godd*n radius and used it to bludgeon to death the guy who'd done it. My recommendation? Bombard with spellfire and keep a real good distance. He doesn't strike me as the real intelligent type so maybe lure him onto a ship full of powder and blow it all sky high? Though make sure to find the body cause it might just make him angry. Like I said he ripped out his own bones to fight and yet every time we see him he starts out looking the same, pristine white suit, immaculate hair, and maybe just a few new scars. Someone said he's a half-vamp but I leave that to your expertise. _5 Ardaxians_.

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**AN**

**I realized that this type of content belongs more on fictionpress than here so that's where I'll be moving all of my stuff from now on. Unfortunately I gotta wait 12 hours because I didn't have a fictionpress account till today. So for now, so that my players can access it, I'll leave this here, I'll delete it after it's confirmed and saved on fictionpress. If you liked this then go read the Ahern report. it's the same style but bigger, better, and less censored-er.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN, ah it's good to be back at this. Note about the fictionpress thing. I may still upload this over there, maybe not. I found an entire section of this site dedicated to homebrew D&D so I figured, this probably _isn't_ outside the guidelines. If someone lets me know that it is then I'll move it no big deal. But for now, since I'm here more often anyways and I already started it here. Updates will be coming here first. Also if you like this story, or this setting and want to perhaps know more. Maybe you like my writing style or what-have-you and want to see this expanded. PM me. I've got plenty of stories to tell in this setting and if people like it than that's motivation enough for me. Apologies in advance for most grammar and spelling mistakes. Some of the grammar mistakes are on purpose but I still try to keep a lid on it. Since this a letter correspondance my adherence to correct grammar only goes so far as Ardaxian's willingness to be proper. Which isn't much. But for you readers I try. **

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_To my Good friend Ardaxian_

_It is wonderful to hear from you after all this time. As for Victoria she is happily retired and married, and not to me if that's what you're wondering. I'll let her know you said hello, though if you think she'll be happy to hear that you're doing well, then you're an idiot. You are the rival of her most important teacher, and she never did forgive you for that whole bootlock thing you did._

_And yes, I'd forgotten about Savanaport, I'm going to go take a rather large shot of scotch to remedy that. While it does bring me a decent amount of terror to realize that a single woman might be able to take on an entire fleet of Steelborn solo, it only increases when I realize that such person isn't even the one in charge, and didn't even make your, classy, dnfw list. I will say that I personally find myself quite appreciative of your rating system and have left it to Athemna to try and sort it out and convert it to something a bit more formal. On that topic, your last letter left me much more uneasy about the upcoming conflict and how our forces would be able to handle it. More to the point, I realized I didn't quite understand the full extent of our own forces and what we'll be able to bring to bear. Would you be willing to expand your explanation to our own forces, and maybe some people that my lads may have to answer too, who they really shouldn't get on the bad side of. My boys will respect someone if they know that said person could "Hand them their own a**es". Their words not mine._

_Sincerely_

_Basset Monteral_

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To the bookiest of nerds, the reediest of limp noodles, the stringiest of monster bait, and the most falutin of wizard spell-tootin'

BASSIE!

I forgot your titles last time, can't ever let you forget. As for Victoria, I'm sure she hasn't forgotten about that, it was a good lesson. Always make sure your boots haven't been trapped. I'm sure she still checks them to this day. She should have thanked me. Besides, she deserved it for choosing to apprentice under that spear twirling twat in the first place. As for "our" forces, I'd like to kindly remind you that this is your s***-stink continent and I don't rightly care if it gets incinerated or not. So long as there's enough gold afterward and enough places for me to spend said gold, I'm happy. That being said, I've definitely been on both sides of a fight with Lapinskian forces and I gotta say, on the whole it boils down to this; If you're talking about the official forces, army vs army, The Lapinskians are who I'd put my money on. They have some of the best discipline, they don't break rank, most of them have been seasoned for decades and they have a strong chain of command that even when broken falls into its next slot very quickly. As a whole, they are probably the strongest military on the planet, though when you get down to the individuals it starts to break apart. They rely too heavily on teamwork and established doctrine and lack a lot of individuality or flexibility because the whole thing relies on everyone doing their part. Still, I'm going to break down the individual soldiers and just like with the pirates I'll be using the Ardaxian system to give you a ballpark figure on just how scary some of these guys are.

**Steelborn:**

So we'll start at the bottom with the boys everybody knows. The Steelborn. Dime a dozen equipped with basic gear and basic training right? Wrong, those are your local guardsmen who call themselves Steelborn. They compare to the real deal the way stale beer compares to well-aged whiskey. The proper Steelborn are the men and women who get drafted as teens, either kids who haven't found an apprenticeships yet or from families who just want to get rid of another mouth to feed. These kids get brought to Bladegarden where they spend the next few years enduring some of the most grueling upbringing I've ever seen. After a few years of non-stop drills, discipline training, conditioning, and not a small amount of nationalistic brainwashing you get a Steelborn. Individually, they aren't very tough. Like I said, most of their training revolves around large armies and teamwork so if you catch one out on his own or in a small group, then you're pretty much just dealing with a trained soldier. They'll beat a civvie in a fight but not a real bada**. In a proper platoon of 36 I'd say these guys warrant about **_.3 Ardaxians_.** Predictable, use hit and run tactics, to pick off a couple and they'll bunch up. After that lob an explosive or a tanglefoot bag into the mix and pretty much they become a fairly scattered mess. Any group that's half decent at adapting can take out a platoon of Steelborn if they have the element of surprise and a solid plan.

**Guilds:**

This is where you lot fit in. By far the most varied in strength and I doubt I need to tell you about yourselves, but for the sake of just having you know where **I'd** put you, I felt you should be included. The guilds from across the nation are mostly focused on tracking down and either eliminating, or displacing monsters. Some of them focus more on exploration while others trend towards working as guards or escorts. Because of how on the move a given guild might be, they tend to be formed out of five to ten or so members that rotate in and out for different jobs. Sometimes only working in pairs for small jobs, and other times grouping up as 8 or more when a big threat rolls around. Anything that requires an entire guild is likely to be a big enough problem that the city gets involved, but those types of problems are rare. Most of the time a guild will act in parties of five. These are versatile, dangerous groups that don't give up easily and rely very heavily on each other. Most members specialize into a field and allow their guildmates to shore up their own weaknesses. This works well in the small groups that they get divided into since they can choose the best members for a given job and let those specialized skills come to the forefront. Guild also tend to attract spellcasters like sailors to a cheap brothel. You might find even half of a given guild is made up of casters. All in all I'd say the average guild comes in at about **_.6 Ardaxians_** for the whole lot. They aren't great in traditional roles because of how they specialize and if you split them up they become worth much less than the sum of their parts. What makes a guild so dangerous is the combination of teamwork and versatility. A well-rounded guild will have someone who can counter a problem, and they will rotate the rest of their team to enable that member to maximize their effect. In combat especially this makes a guild difficult to deal with because they will protect one other, and use strategies that rely heavily on the foreknowledge of each other's abilities. So one guild member may do something that at first seems a little strange, like running away from a fight or clearing out of an area, only for a teammate to turn it into a major advantage with either magic or some gimmick they've worked out in advance. The other thing that makes a guild or a guild-party dangerous is just raw experience. These are people who spend most of their time pitting themselves against monsters. They aren't easily intimidated and make a living off of brushes with death. Do that enough times and you pick up a lot of skills. If I had to give advice on how to take down a guild I'd say divide and conquer. Separate members from each other and make sure to finish off the healers first. Don't bring a big a monster to the fight, they'll shred through it, it's literally their day job.

**Bladegardener:**

The hardest of harda**es. These are the guys who have finished a full tour and shown a bit more promise than your average turd. Typically armed the same as a Steelborn but with a little bit better quality on the armor (typically thin plate with either a gambeson or mail and leather underneath, classic, versatile, solid protection). Spear, kite shield, gladius, combat knife. They get sent back to Bladegarden for round 2. This time with a heavier focus on battle-tactics and logistics. After about a year of courses these guys take up the role of trainers. Inflicting the same harsh treatment onto newbloods that they themselves received. Come graduation they don't just see the newbloods off, they lead them on their first tours as platoon captains or sergeants. They'll spend the next few years rotating back and forth between being a trainer and being active in the field. These guys are veterans and more importantly, the backbone of a platoon. If you take one out early in a skirmish, you'll watch the effectiveness of that platoon drop pretty hard. These hardened vets can be tough nuts to crack so taking one out of a platoon can sometimes be a pretty tall order. After about a decade of sparring they've picked up a lot of tricks and don't fall for a lot. By themselves I'd say a Bladegardener is worth about **_.1-.2 Ardaxians_**. In close quarters they'll show a lot of nasty tricks, underhand cuts, reversing thrusts, and a pretty strong reliance on defence instead of offence. You don't live as long as they have as a soldier by forgetting how to block. On top of being hard to hit in the first place, the authority and discipline they've received means most will keep swinging long after a normal man would have given up. That's not to say they can't be beaten by a superior opponent, and if you're faster, stronger, or just more technical, all you need to do is press that advantage. A Bladegardener is more flexible than your typical individual Steelborn and tough as balls. But lob a half-decent spell at them or disarm them and they lose pretty much all of their lethality. These men are better in a fight that your typical Steelborn, but that's mostly experience instead of training; and most of that experience is knocking around civilians so it isn't like they get challenged a lot. Keep in mind they're more trained in leadership tactics than advanced combat, so don't expect anything too crazy from them.

**The Air Armada:**

Fighting people who can fly sucks. As a general rule, if someone can attack you from a position that you can't hit back, find somewhere else to be. The Air Armada is more or less a bunch of glorified cavalry who think they're too important to be risked on rudimentary missions. Truth of the matter is when they're on the ground they go down faster than a cheap whore so the military tends not to send them anywhere risky. The Air Armada consists of wyvern and eagle riders that generally acts as scouts. Though they _can_ serve a battlefield role, they'll carry a bag of flechettes which they like to drop on people from hundreds of feet up. Imagine a crossbow bolt but with a disgustingly thick head. It'll punch right through steel and bone if it falls from high enough. If you're on your own it isn't actually that bad since they can't aim for sh** and you can hear it coming from a mile away. Put your shield up and angle it so that even if they do make contact, it'll glance off instead of punch through (it'll hurt like a b**** but if you don't brace too hard you'll absorb the impact in your legs instead of breaking your arm). However, bombarding people with flechettes isn't the primary purpose of the Air Armada. Their real job is to counter other airborne threats. This is where these guys actually deserve recognition for their skill. Dog-fighting is sketchy at best, you don't typically need to do a lot to kill someone. One or two hits and then gravity will take care of the rest. So the Air Armada trains hard to only engage when they can land a hit without taking one in kind. When fighting other aerial cavalry they tend to use long spears or nets, tangle up your opponent or send them crashing to the ground from a thousand feet. Rumors say they use bows and crossbows but don't believe that bulls***. It's too difficult to aim and too hard to keep arrows from scattering midflight. And anyone who thinks they use crossbows has never tried to reload one on horseback, let alone thousands of feet in the air. Honestly I'd say a group of 10 air cavalry warrants about **_.5 Ardaxians_.** They're nasty, and can be hard to kill, but at the end of the day they can't do much to a grounded opponent without eventually getting into range. They'll try to harry with the wyvern's claws or just land on top of you but if you've got a bow or just a pike. They don't typically want to get very close. If you've got a caster or just a keen-eyed shot you can knock em out in one shot, and they know it isn't worth the risk. They can't afford to wear much armor since they're already pushing their beasties pretty hard with a passenger and their weapons. Go for the wings or the tail if you're aim's that good. Otherwise, find cover and all they can really do is stare at you angrily. Sure, if they land a wyvern can be pretty nasty, but as I understand, an angry beast like that is just a regular day for you and yours.

**Legion:**

Time for our first real spook. The Legion. Now, a legion is a unit consisting of about a thousand men, they like to say a thousand in the books but it's usually a bit more than that. Either way, legions are the backbone to the Khagans military force, and the hardened vets who lead them, are Legions (capital L). Pretty much all of these guys are from the uprising war and every single one of them had to climb the ranks to reach the position. They have a hierarchy within themselves, high general, grand commander, titles and pomp that don't really mean all that much too anyone but them. No matter what badge they wear though, if they carry that single star, they're a Legion. In terms of gear these guys are universally kitted out pretty heavily but the style really depends on taste. I'll go over stuff I know they all have; Magic items to communicate with subordinates, escape scrolls so they don't get locked down, as well as whatever enchanted armor and weapons they've picked up over the years. All of them have solid anti-magic barriers that will take at least a couple mid-level casters to get through in any reasonable amount of time. At range they'll typically sport a classic composite Nill-tooth longbow which can lob a shot with accuracy to about 500 yards though it depends on the aim of the one using it. After that it comes down to the personality. Every Legion is different, some are archers, some are casters, but most are just regular soldiers who are trained in melee. Whatever they were, they're seasoned enough now to at least have the basics of all three, and a pretty strong mastery of whatever they started with. At range the scariest would be marksman like Ashburne or Mistsplitter, in melee I'd say the scariest would be monsters like Toegold or Odakini. Who, in his prime might have given even me a run for my money. The only caster Legion I know of is Haelond but he's more of a hybrid, combining the arcane with martial but he doesn't show himself that often so most of the info I have on him is speculative. Whichever one you've got to listen to, remember that every single one of them earned that star through blood. I'd give most of them **_.8-.9 Ardaxians_.** These guys don't see the front line of battle very often but I once watched a friendly spar between a Legion and all of his Centurions at once. With the way he was smiling you'd think he wasn't outnumbered ten to one but he still wiped the floor with ten of his best all without even breaking a sweat. Even I wouldn't tangle with these guys lightly. Killing a Legion usually takes either an army, or a skilled assassin. Emphasis on the word skilled. These guys typically have enough bodyguards to keep mundane attempts on their life at bay. And if an assassin doesn't kill them in one blow, chances are they'll put up enough of a fight and a clamor that backup will arrive. My advice? Kill them in one blow, not typically a fan of assassination but it is what it is.

**Adjudicator:**

Yay mages. The adjudicators are both some of the most dangerous standard members in a typical legion, and some of the most vulnerable. These are combat trained spellcasters who can tip the balance of a battle with a wave of their hand. They'll fling fireballs that can level houses, summon the dead, conjure hails of arrows, so on and so forth. Proper mage stuff. In a fight between a Century without an Adjudicator, and a platoon with just 1, smart money is on the platoon. They're a force multiplier. Most of their focus is in wide area of effect style magic as opposed to single target disruption. Many of them also pack some annoying crowd control in order to funnel foes into a killbox. That said, they're also a bunch of prissy little b****es who couldn't stop a charging farmhand with a pitchfork. These guys surround themselves with Steelborn to make sure that nobody can threaten their body but honestly, if you can just get _close_ they'll panic and try to retreat. These guys aren't typically trained soldiers hardened by combat. They're pampered brats that pack a punch on the battlefield so the platoon tries to keep them happy. Other thing to keep in mind is they can be fairly frugal with spells, they know that if they run out of juice they're more or less useless so making them waste ammo on dummy targets or feints is a quick way to tire them out. Other way that you can incapacitate an Adjudicator is to nab their focus, whether it's a staff, a wand, or one of those big hats they wear. Without it they're forced to use raw materials and most of them don't have the training or memory for it. I'd give an Adjudicator **_.3 Ardaxians_.** They aren't that tough but can make your life pretty hard if they spot you. Glass cannons. Best way to kill one is get in close without them noticing, then stick 'em with the pointy end. They don't wear armor so a well-placed shot will also do the trick just fine. Hard part is just getting close enough without anyone noticing.

**Centipede:**

The personal enforcers of her ladyship Harper. I've never seen these guys in action personally but I've seen the devastation they leave in their wake. No regard for pity, morality, honor, or ethics these guys fight so dirty they make even me consider their tactics low. I guess if I were to make a comparison take one of your strongest guilds, kit them out with some seriously dangerous magic bulls***, and then fund them from the pockets of one of the wealthiest women on the planet. Centipede IS dangerous, they've taken on forces far larger than themselves with the odds stacked against them and yet they're still around and Harper's enemies grow fewer. She sends them out to find her specialized items, old relics, rare ingredients, magical beasts and the like. With how much they travel they tend to get into some pretty nasty territory, so they carry around badges that signify who they work for. They carry the full authority of the left hand of the khagan and that earns them as many enemies as it does earn them favors. I don't know much about their combat abilities but I can break down their group at least a little. They're a party of four, typical guild size with typical role selection. Healer, Mage, Tank, Damage Dealer. The problem with killing these guys is that like most guilds that have worked together for a long time and they have strong teamwork. Best way I would say to deal with them is probably guerilla tactics. Target one, Hard, and then once they're down, go for the kill. After you take one down cut and run. While they try to recuperate and chase just keep running. Rinse and repeat going after the midline first. I'd give this group about **_.7 Ardaxians_.** They change up their appearance fairly often thanks to Harper's weird experiments, but they all carry her badge, and the specialized emblem of their unit. If they flash it, it means they're probably pretty confident of the weight they're throwing around being enough to get them out of a situation.

**Corona:**

Khaganate Arghun's special forces bear at least a mention on this list. They are the cloak and dagger of the Khagan and enforce his rule where the Steelborn can't tread. They carry just about what you'd expect from a bunch of sneaky-sneaks. Hidden blades, lightweight weapons, smoke bombs and noisemakers, typically they'll forego metal armor in favor of quieter leather but the fancy one either have enchanted mail or just say f*** it and wear lobstered plate. They have a reliance on being able to stay on the move and stay discrete so most of what they carry is small enough to be hidden or tucked away. Where the Steelborn act out in the open, the Corona act more behind closed doors. Because of this they tend to be more secluded and have a less defined chain of command, this allows them to maintain a high level of autonomy they can't react as a coordinated whole, just as a collection of individual units. They do have more independent authority than almost anyone and usually answer directly to either Arghun or the Khagan himself. Being the official special forces of the realm, the Corona gets into some really ethically grey areas. Fortunately for them these guys threw out their morals a long time ago in order to specialize in espionage, kidnapping, and information gathering. Occasionally they'll need to execute someone quietly and will enlist local Steelborn to act as some backup muscle if they need it. Not that they can't hold their own in a fight, just that they're training is centralized on taking advantage of surprising a foe while they're vulnerable. So they'll aim for the neck, the underarm, the femoral artery, whatever will end the fight quickly that you'll be able to protect you're your guard is up. What makes fighting these guys so tricky is you never know when one is going to have the drop on you or not. They can be just about anyone and are very adept at hiding and tracking. If you do get caught in a fight with the Corona understand that you are always outnumbered, and they love to play the terrain to their advantage. Don't let them harry you or direct where you're going. Best bet is either to buckle down and stand your ground, or pick whichever one you can see and go hard on the aggressive. Dangerous as they are in a fight, they're far more dangerous when things are going according to their plan and those plans almost never involve direct engagement. **_.6 Ardaxians_** for being clever opponents that won't die like an idiot. They'll disengage to regroup if they think they're in real danger. That said it is possible to turn that caution against them. I once got cornered into a bad spot and instead of fighting my way out I acted like it was all part of my plan, pulled some BS out of my a** about a hidden ambush and taunted them to come at me like it was just a regular evening out. Could have been nasty but I walked out whistling Dixie.

**The Freaks**

The Khagan has more than its fair share of monsters. That's what happens when you have continent at your disposal I suppose, but I've left out a couple of neutral parties since they don't tend to get involved in anything. These are the ones that even I DNFW. If you see them, either leave them alone, or don't antagonize them, and be glad that they are on Your side.

**Harper:**

This b****. This m*****f****** w**** tops my DNFW list. Forever. **_7 Ardaxians_. **I know you're already more acquainted with the craziest f****** b**** on the planet but for anyone who hasn't yet heard of her I'll give a very brief introduction. Harper serves as the left hand of the Khagan, she's his royal alchemist and arguably made the largest impact on his rise to power (short of the Khagan himself). Harper, is not a spellcaster nor a fighter, she's a chemist. Off the battlefield she spends her days mixing one thing with another to find out what happens. Now that alone would not give her the reputation she's got. Sounds almost mundane and harmless when I put it that way, but there is nothing mundane or harmless about Harper. She and the Khagan apparently have an arrangement. In exchange for her helping him to win the throne, and her not f****** with him, he would give her free reign to experiment however she saw fit on any prisoners. She's never got a lack of subjects since the Steelborn crack down so hard on even the smallest infractions. The stories people hear of what comes out of her lab make most people sick (obviously not me but still). Now all that would be bad enough except I've had the personal displeasure of _seeing_ the s*** that comes out of her experiments. Those things shouldn't exist. Multi-mouthed monsters, things that are part animal and part man, a slime made from melted teeth, all of it made worse when you remember that all of those used to be just regular people. Worse still is that from what I've heard, she enjoys what she does. She's not just insane, she **knows** she's insane and thinks it's hilarious. Now that might be considered a weakness, and would tie into how I would go about trying to kill her, if people hadn't tried most of my plans already. There is no shortage of people who want her dead. Revenge for stolen loved ones or to get back at her for some horrible scarring she did is common. Attempts on her life used to happen almost daily but people have started to wise up since most of those attempts ended with the would-be hero winding up dead or worse. A decent attempt still happens about once a month or so but she ain't dead yet so there's that. Most of the people who make these attempts become her next victims, or become the target of whatever powder, potion, or elixir she's come up with. She doesn't treat these attempts on her life as dire, she treats them as opportunities to try out her newest toy. She tends to act nonchalant because she just shrugs off most hits, I've seen her take a dagger to the lungs and she just pulled it out and chugged a potion. Wound was gone a minute later. Most of the time she doesn't even drink anything, her injuries just sizzle and heal up quickly on their own. That alone means she's toying with people but what about when she gets serious? What about when a real threat comes for her? First of all, she'll start messing with your head. Illusions, tricks, fogs, voices, when she pulls these cards out it means she's buying time. Buying time for her to study how you react and to chug down whatever potions she thinks is necessary. At this point you're in for the war of attrition. See, in terms of what she does back to you, she relies very heavily on those potions and gadgets of hers. Fire and explosives but if you've got real good armor and cover, or better yet, find a way to engage her in CQC, the amount of damage you take is going to come off as rather light. Unfortunately trying to hit this b**** is harder than catching a fly out of the air with just a pair of chopsticks. When she gets serious she takes OFF her armor because it slows her down. And at that point, you're f*****. She might not be able to deal a lot of damage or have devastating technique, but that falls pretty heavily to the wayside when she knows anatomy as well as she does. She's not going to cut an artery with one well-placed strike, she's going to try to sever ten arteries with a dozen moderately well placed strikes all in the time it takes to blink. Doesn't help that her spear carries a fairly potent venom, or you know, whatever horrible thing she put in it. Saw her take a guys skin off by stabbing him, then it just sloughed off, all at once like snow off a roof. Don't let her stab you. Oh and even if you do stab her she's got nasty surprises like spiders that'll crawl out from the wound and up your weapon, or acidic blood that sprays out and blinds you, or whatever the F*** else she's got going on. F*** her. F*** fighting her. And F*** trying to stop the slippery B**** from getting away. How to kill her. Drop a F***** meteor from orbit. Then Pray REAL hard that it killed her, before dropping a second one just to be sure. ******* *** ***** ****

**Camper:**

Let's talk a little bit of history to explain why I find this statue to be so very terrifying. Maybe you've seen him in person and not realized it or heard the stories about the sentinel of Durachi. Right now, and for the last decade or so, he has simply stood, fully clad and armed, at the front gate to the Capital. He doesn't move, he doesn't eat or sleep or s**t, most folks think that he's either just a statue or he's dead. Frankly he's pretty harmless unless you do something that might p**s him off. Then he gets dangerous, f***in spooky dangerous. To give you an idea of how dangerous we need to talk some history and go back to the Khagan's rise. The first city he took over was Garbon, and at the time, Camper was considered to be one of the most dangerous men in the city. The Khagan managed to recruit him, and together they single-handedly dealt with both the ruling family and their retainers. This was the start of the Khagan's campaign and cemented Camper as the Right Hand. Over the course of the Khagan's rise to power Camper's reputation grew as well, rumors have it that during an internal spat with Harper he took out a building in a single swing _on accident_. I'd also like to note the gear that this man picked up over the course of his battles. He started with heavy scale mail but eventually ditched it in favor of a lighter half-plate before eventually coming across some blessed full-plate ebony bulls*** armor off of some demon or something, details on where he got it are sketchy but it lets him move at full speed if not faster while also making him pretty much impervious to anything lighter than a ballistae. During the siege of Durachi he waded into an army of thousands of Yuan-Ti _alone_ looking for their leaders and pretty much nothing could scratch him. That's either because the armor is bulls***, or everyone who got close enough to try was already dead. What rumors I've heard is that during that battle he became "a tornado of fire and death". I'd call that exaggeration except that that's pretty much the most mundane description of him that I got. The others were even more exaggerated. In terms of weaponry he's been seen wielding everything from battleaxes to brass knuckles though it seems he has a preference for heavier two-handed stuff. Eventually he came across his current favorite which is a big lightning ensorcelled Zweihander. Two handed monster of a sword that can cut through a half-dozen men on just the backswing. At Logbase24 it's said he decapitated a dragon though sources on that were murky at best. Fast-forward about a week after the Khagan's coronation and the legendary warrior is just standing stock-still, guarding the front gate. No one knew why and some disgruntled punks try to knock him awake. They succeeded, They died. In time, a lot of people tried to knock him awake, or were unlucky enough to get to close, all of them are dead, ripped apart as he wakes up and cuts them down employing all the skill of the most dangerous and hardened warrior the Khagan ever fielded. Then he just goes back to standing there, no more alive than a scarecrow. Eventually it got around that this guy was a threat and some hot-shots (including myself I admit) thought it might be a decent challenge. About 20 or so of the best killers from across the land came together to try to put this guy down. I watched him go from an unmoving husk to blitzing too fast to follow. He cut through full plate like it was butter. And after he cut through every person who went after him? He just hunched back over, sheathed his sword, and the rest of us left him alone. **_8 Ardaxians_.** I've seen the way he moves personally, and you don't poke this bear. I just hope he doesn't wake up. Can't imagine what he'd be like if he weren't just mindlessly taking out whatever bothers him. I don't have any idea how to kill him. Maybe just build a wall around him and pour in a lot of cement? 50-50 it works, or everyone involved dies. Might be best just to leave him alone.

**Don Zeevu:**

Another from the history books. This guy is more obscure so I might go into a bit more detail since most people don't really know that much about him. Put simply, Don Zeevu is a Lich. Or perhaps a wannabe Lich in the making or something along those lines. You're the monster and magic expert, I just stick people with a pointed stick. Another of The Khagan's cadre from during his takeover, Don Zeevu was probably just a regular necromancer. As normal as someone who spends their spare time summoning the dead really is I suppose. Not that that bothered the Khagan. He was the apprentice under Bava Kaa, you know that witch who terrorized all of Lake Rowena and Rebecca for a decade before the battle of Bloody Isle? The guy apparently wasn't all that loyal to his former master and saw which way the wind was blowing. He spent the rest of the war alternating between raising up contingents of undead from battlefields to serve on the front line of the Khagan's growing forces, and f***ing up everyone magically like he's an entire artillery division by himself. I've heard of him summoning storms that wipe out fleets, turned forests into death traps, and if he wants to be direct, freezing an entire century of soldiers and laughing as they shattered like glass. As far as Battlecasters go, none were his equal, he'd root out and challenge other mages head to head and overwhelm them with raw power. Unfortunately, his head got too big for his britches and his little minions went haywire during the siege of the capitol. After that he took his army and retired into the wasteland marshes just east of Durachi. The Khagan didn't really give chase which makes me feel like they're still on good terms despite the slip-up during that final battle. So to summarize, he's a potent spellcaster who has had a decade of battle experience and time to study the notes of one of the most noted necromancers of our era. He's got an army of mooks that he's been growing to who knows what size over the last 20 years, and he's strong enough that even the f***ing wish granter considers him either an equal or a senior. Since I've never seen him fight personally and since his danger really seems to come from the army at his beck and call. I'd call him about **_5 Ardaxians_**. If he's a full-blown Lich, **_8 Ardaxians_**. And I'd be going to you for help on how to deal with that. I'd say don't count on magic against him, if you can find a way to disable it you'll take away his strongest advantage.

**High Magistrate Gorreth:**

Speaking of spellcasters, let's bring up the head honcho in Windcrest. Now it's no secret that Windcrest is where the Khagan steals his best casters and Adjudicators but what most people don't seem to appreciate is that all of them are small potatoes compared to Gorreth. Now the High Magistrate of the largest school for spellcasters in the country, of course he's pretty powerful right, but just how scary? Very. The I-make-a-bada**-sh**-themselves-in-the-night type of scary. The I-didn't-realize-the-walking-volcano-was-a-threat-and-do-you-just-want-me-to-remove-it type of scary. This guy has spent hundreds of years stretching and playing with the strings that make reality what it is and has gotten really da** good at it. You know why the entire southeast doesn't get hit by bad tropical storms anymore? Because Gorreth doesn't want them too. You know how there used to be a town on the coast of Kree that just kept getting raided until one day it just disappeared? Yeah, Gorreth fu***ng picked up the entire town one day, and moved it about a quarter mile north of Windcrest. It's still there now, the city has grown around it but just by walking down the street you can tell the architecture suddenly changes. Powerful spellcasters are a pain to deal with, and this guy ranks in near or at the top. From what I understand he's generally a pretty nice and laid-back guy. But a nice sunny day can still hide a hurricane. **_3 Ardaxians_**. He gets 4 for being strong enough to transport an entire town by himself, but loses a point because those kinds of feats are far and in between instead of the norm. He's got pretty extreme highs but they seem inconsistent and like most casters he's more of a sprinter than a marathon runner. And at the end of the day he doesn't actually have a ton of combat experience. He's just got a whole lot of punch but not really the training to aim it. If things get dire maybe he'll panic, though years in a spot of authority means he's probably got solid nerves. If I had to give advice on how to take this guy down, I'd say steal his spellbook and supplies, find ways to silence him to limit his options, and then exhaust him out. Spellcasters need to rest in order to recover their reserves, so if you can isolate him and harry him constantly for days so he can't rest, and any boy who can hold a sword could kill him. He doesn't have the constitution to go for long, and as far as his combative abilities go without magic, he's just a more disciplined civilian. Sure, he's got a handful of simple spells that he'll always have on hand but they're weak enough that they can be avoided and worked around. But if he gets the drop on you? After a week of being able to prepare and bring his power to bear? He may only get one burst, but he can upend your entire world with it. That's why he makes the DNFW list.

**Battlemaster Barda:**

This list would be incomplete without the presence of The Boss. Battlemaster Barda may be the only person on the planet that I willingly refer to as "Master". Nobody else deserves that name. Only The Boss earned that. Battlemaster Barda currently lives in Durachi with the Khagan and his official title is "Captain of the Guard" and technically he's in charge of security around the Khagan. But seeing as the Khagan actively discourages competent security in order to encourage his foes to come to him, that job title is little more than just that, a title. His real job is to train up the khaganate. And he's da** good at his actual job. There aren't a lot of people who can go toe-to-toe with any member of the khaganate in combat and you want to know why? Because Barda fu**ing taught them. I'd break down his weapons and armor but it _doesn't f***ing matter what he's got. _Give him a sword or a spoon it doesn't make a difference he'll find a way to make it lethal. And a big part of what makes that talent so surreal is how willing he is to change his weapon to just whatever is nearby, he'll switch from a perfectly good handaxe to a nearby rolling pin if he thinks it'll serve him better. Armor, I guess he prefers thick hide but on the whole you can put him in anything and he'll make it work. Apparently he's some stud from Nymeria who got sick of the rulership there and moved out. Don't know when he got pulled into the Khagan's service but he seems to like it in Durachi. I got to undergo a couple of weeks under his tutelage while I was impersonating a Bladegardener (long story). Holy Sh** this man not only put ME through the wringer, but also a bunch of that hardest men in the Khagan's army. A bunch of them got it in their heads that this guy was all talk, all theory, thought this short bald little Yrish man couldn't hold up in an actual fight. So, they challenged him and he took them on, all at the SAME time. Dozen of the some of the finest fighters in the country, all in peak physical condition, and he fu**ing _toyed_ with them. He was giving lessons, while kicking their a**es. He was _telling_ them, where his own openings were and how he was going to cover them and he still tore these guys to shreds. It was glorious to watch. **_4 Ardaxians_**_,_ easy. How I'd recommend fighting him? Don't. Not in melee that's for sure. The more time you spend fighting him, the more he'll figure out your style and adapt to it. I'd recommend some form of assassination but he taught the khaganate everything they know about counter-assassination. You know, the family that treats a bomb under the bed as a cute family prank to be encouraged? Don't know where or how he learned any of this stuff but there's no doubt that he knows what he's doing. Assassins ain't gonna work. I legitimately don't know what could kill this Mother fu**er short of a Dragon attack or a total scorch and burn OP from multiple demi-god level sources. Even that might not work. You don't F*** with The Boss.

**Todathon Toegold IV:**

The Khagan's current highest ranking General and Master-of-War. Toegold makes this list for different reasons than everyone else. First: if your boys are going to be conscripted into this upcoming mess, they need to know who's at the top of the chain. Second: in a straight up fight, Toegold will kick any ordinary person to the curb. I'd give him **_1 Ardaxians_.** If he's alone, in an arena, head-to-head style. He's da** good in a fight but not good enough by himself to make this list and age has started to slow him down just a bit. Maybe in his prime he could have reached **_1.5 Ardaxians_**, if he's got Lìmo and his custom armor**.** I could have taken him on my best day, but it would still be close and it would still go his way more often than not. But if you start mixing in different variables? Add terrain and he'll turn it to his advantage, add more weapons and he'll turn it to his advantage. That's what makes Toegold so dangerous. That's what puts him on this list. Give him 2 decent men and an hour with good intel, and he could take on a platoon without losses. Give him a platoon and he can take out a legion. The more men he has at his disposal, and the better his intel is, the more elaborate and broader his plans can be. This is a man who has spent his entire life in the army. His father signed him into the military when he was six and he's been studying war ever since. And the tactical genius of Todathon Toegold IV cannot be overstated. He's one of the main reasons why the Khagan took over so smoothly. He snuffed out rebellions and revolutionaries before they even cropped up. His record as a commander is near flawless with an overwhelming number of total victories. That's not to say he's won everything, far from it. But he's transformed disasters into setbacks. Losses into even trades. He's not afraid to retreat if necessary, he isn't governed by pride. He's purely analytical. As a fighter. **_1.5 Ardaxian_,** Throw enough (talented) men at him and bombard with spellfire and you'll probably kill him eventually. As a commander. Let's just say I've turned down some well-paying jobs because they would have pitted me against Todathon Toegold IV.

**ArchBishop Formworht Tacou:**

Someone a little bit closer to home perhaps. Formworth Tacou landed on my radar after the Drow siege on Talis Val. If it hadn't been for what he pulled that day, I never would have considered him for this list. Which is why I'm glad he showed his hand. Because this guy, this guy scared me. Let's set the scene, army of Drow crawling out of the ground and through the walls of the city. Panic everywhere, carnage, screaming, the city defenders are trying to rally but are getting cut down. Driders and trolls and other beasties (you'd know more about than me) crawling out of the deep and having their way with the city. Everything sucks basically. Then glowing like he's a star _this_ guy tears open a portal in the middle of the city and calls forth a legion of angels. He then grows a whole bunch of wings, flies up and starts hurling boulders the size of a man with his mind like Zeus raining lightning. I am not making this s*** up. He single-handedly held off the assault, rallied the army, and then with the angels and guards help, proceeded to rout the invaders who had been fu**ing them up down and sideways. Since then I don't know what he's done; Apparently nothing of note. So I did a little bit of digging and apparently ages ago he did some sort of vague legendary deeds saving some big organization that doesn't exist anymore. Whatever it was it elevated him from a regular priest of Bahamut into the position of Archbishop. With only the one time I've seen him in action, **_5 Ardaxians_**. How I'd beat him? Give him a keg and poison it. I found next to nothing about his abilities in combat other than a lot of vague hints about miracles performed like removing a plague or curing death. Not a lot of combat data, but what I did find was a near universal understanding that the guy is _always _drunk, pretty much nothing I found failed to mention it. Man likes his drink I guess. But he worries me, someone that powerful having this little data on him doesn't feel accidental. I don't like it.

**Khaganate:**

The children of the khagan, though I guess technically the Khagan can name anyone as his successor. I only think that's happened once or twice in all of Lapinski's history. Either way, the khaganate are the five children of this country's glorious leader and have been raised from birth to compete for that mantle. They are, in order of youngest to oldest: Sartaq, the current head of the Sky Cavalry and leader of the Khagan's scouts, from what I understand he's pretty well liked within the Air Armada but not really known about outside of it. From what I understand his decision making still needs work but he's only just come of age so that'll probably improve with more time. Duva, leads the Adjudicators and acts as the primary median between the khagan and his spellcasters. From what I understand she's particularly fond of enchantment magic but that may be an intentional rumor she created to throw people off. Next to Arghun she's probably the craftiest, doesn't spend a lot of time out in public either. Next is Kashin who I know a little bit more about. Head of the Khagan's cavalry and the authority most of the Steelborn answer to directly. He's more independent than most of the other Khaganate and acts as seneschal to the Eastern half of Lapinski. Next is the oldest son Arghun, the royal spymaster himself. This guy is at the center of every conspiracy story ever concocted from Bilgewater to Sandpoint. Some of them might even be true. He's the guy in charge of the Corona and everything anyone knows about him should probably be taken with a grain of salt. Last but not least, Hasar. She's a warrior at heart and leads the Khagan's infantry and has served her time well as a General for the last couple years. I like her. She's the kind of gal who feels the most like a real person instead of just a legend you only get to see from far away. Anyways, to summarize, the khaganate are each dangerous in their own way but all of them have grown up from birth knowing they have to earn the favor of their father. To prove that they are worthy of succeeding him. How he judges them is up to him, but I think it's more based on results than anything. Less about sabotaging your rivals and more about out-performing them. That's not to say they don't sabotage each other, but in ways that don't disrupt the kingdom. Otherwise if they get caught it'll reflect very badly on daddy-dearest. In a fight I'd give each of them **_3 Ardaxians_.** How you approach each one is going to be case dependent but as children of a conquerer they've put a fair amount of time into combat and are all dangerous in a scrap. These guys all got trained for a decade by The Boss, and none of them are weak in close-quarters. Who knows what trinkets they've picked up along the way but with the resources at their disposal I'm assuming it's all top notch. None of them are afraid to get their hands dirty either so don't expect any of them to be pushovers or novices. That said most of them aren't prodigies or monsters, like the rest of this DNFW list. Everyone else on here could probably walk into a hostile city alone and fight their way out (with varying degrees of difficulty, I have it on good authority that Camper ACTUALLY did that and didn't care). The khaganate get **_3 Ardaxians_** more for the resources that they have at their disposal. And that amount of resources is something few can match, so if you get found out going after one of these guys, you're fu**ed. They'll bring them to bear on you and I don't know who's worse at that point. Getting dropped off a mountain by Sartaq is probably better than whatever Arghun might do, but I've seen Kashin sentence a guy to death by trampling so… take your pick.

**The Khagan:**

The head honcho, the big cheese, the overlord, the big daddy, the emperor, the high king, the commander-in-chief. None of these names apply. He is simply; The Khagan. Purely from a fighting standpoint, this guy clocks in at about **_11 Ardaxians_**. He would beat the sh** out of every other person on this list. (maybe not Barda but I chalk that up to experience fighting each other). This is a man, who, with no magic, up and took over a continent because it was his birthright. He didn't do this by making an army. No, an army built itself around him as he pushed forward. He was going to do all of it solo if he had to and people followed that drive. Also, it's hard to argue with someone who personally beats you so badly that you realize you'd rather ON his team than off. During a pretty legendary engagement he dueled Camper into submission when they apparently disagreed on something crucial(most people think it was the right for the crown itself but I dunno). Let's talk about why this guy is so scary. First of all he's fast. Terrifyingly fast. I've seen people catch arrows out of midair but the khagan is the only person I've ever seen parry fu**ing lightning. There are several accounts of the Khagan in combat since he doesn't shy away from it once it becomes the best solution. As soon as a blade gets drawn, he basically becomes a blur. Prefers faster more rapid strikes than broad swings and most often uses either a longsword or a very long rapier though there are accounts of him using everything from a maul, to a spear, to ranged weapons so don't think he won't use whatever is handy. And that's the second thing, not only is he fast, he's brutal. Always for the kill, always efficient in where he strikes. There is no mercy with the Khagan. If you have a twinge in your right leg, he'll target it and hamstring you. If you've got one missing eye, he'll take out your other. Once a fight is started, he makes every move with the intention to finish with a kill. Couple that with his versatility, his speed, and his years and years of experience and you've got one scary mother fu**er. But not **_11 Ardaxians_** worth. No, that comes in when you consider that his specialty _isn't_ straight up fighting, it's dirty fighting. Barroom brawls and engagements where it's either full chaos, tricky terrain, or poor visibility is and the Khagan puts on a clinic. The throne room of the Khagan is intentionally left with places and routes for assassins to make attempts on his life, because he likes disappearing and reappearing in his own thrown room just for laughs. He likes scaring his own court, and because every time someone makes an attempt on his life, he gets to show them up personally. There aren't many skulls that adorn the khagan's palace. The one's he mounts are those that not only tried to kill him, but also drew blood. Last I counted those were single digit. And he doesn't even do it out of disrespect either, he enamels them and has them engraved with the assassins name so that they aren't forgotten. THAT is why he's **_11 Ardaxians_**, because he's crazy enough to keep Harper in line, Strong enough to stop Camper when he goes on a rampage, and fast enough to keep Barda reaching for the top. There's a reason he was named successor, despite being outside the main bloodline and almost unheard of. There's a reason that everyone in the kingdom ultimately answers to one man. There's a reason he is Khagan.

Because he took it for himself.

And nobody could stop him.

And nobody since has been able to take it from him.

He earned every bit of it.

* * *

**AN for those who want ch 3 to be the Nymerian forces that's my plan, but if you guys would prefer either a little geography building or history stuff, I have a couple of short stories that I could use as a sort of info dump on what's where. Don't worry, I promise they're more entertaining than that makes them sound, put simply they help illustrate where stuff is and how it got there. Little bit of the politics but more broad strokes. That's THAT country, That's Their KING, just basics like that. honestly I could fit those broad strokes into the next AN frankly. MAybe I'll do that instead. Let me know!**


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